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TheRuler

TheRuler


Posts : 2038
Join date : 2010-05-22
Age : 28
Location : Finland

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PostSubject: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptyMon Jul 05, 2010 2:16 am

Here's what I got so far...

Chapter 0 - Prologue - The Conspiracy


It was hard to catch a breath, I was running that fast. Lasers were running right next to me, trying to hit and freeze me. Metallic voices were shouting at me; "Stop, you punk!" But I kept running, I closed my ears from the outer world, because I knew a place I would be safe, and I better get there fast.
I was thinking about my friends, did they get away? I was thinking about Tim, Murlock and of course, Celestine.

We were in the park, playing with our cards, when the guardians came. We all started to run, all in different directions. And I had no idea where the others were. I was hoping they didn't get caught, because then the guards would find all the Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards! My thoughts were in the friends, and one laser hit me in the arm, and it was useless now. I was in bigger hurry now, so it wouldn't infect my whole body.

I finally came to the door, and I flipped to the side street. The guards floated right pass me, and I walked to the door, and did the secret knock, three longs and 1 short. The Robotic Eye came, and a robotic voice asked me:
"Password?"
"Blue-Eyes White Dragon" I answered.

The door cracked open, and there were many people in.
"Welcome, conspirator Tam Tam."
That wasn't of course my real name, just a secret name used in the conspiracy. The leader, Great Kaibaman, was there too.
"Did they see your cards"
I said that I hope not, and explained what had happened. All were shocked.
"Royal guards are not allowed to go to the park!" Was the thing I heard most.
Then they realized, that I came alone....


Chapter 1 - The others


Meanwhile... Couple Kilometers to South....
Tim was running too... The metallic guards were close to him. He closed his eyes as he was running... His legs felt like jelly..
And then he tripped...

Celestine was already got caught, and the metallic robots were floating towards her...
"You're under arrest"
Then an explosion! Metallic body parts were flying all over the street. A man stood right in front of her.
"Th-thank you"
"I'm not a friend...

Then the man took his hood of his face. That's weird, he looks just like... She was thinking, but then he took a card from his pocket... It was Dimensional Prison... He "activated" it. Didn't use a duel disk, but as he showed her the card, it started to glow.. It was pulling Celestine towards the card... She tried to fight back, but it was too though. She flew right through the card. IT felt like a long tunnel, it pulled her for more than 15 minutes... Then she hit the ground....
"3 more to go..." The man said...

I was in the conspiracy, and everybody was looking at me.... As they have seen, I was alone... I told that I didn't know what happened to my friends. Little did I know.... Then a herald came, he told that he had seen Celestine's headband in the streets... Now I got really worried...

Then Murlock came.
"I saw when the man came, and made Celestine fly to a weird tunnel or something. Then she wasn't there, the man said something about trying to get us there too..."

Meanwhile.... Tim screamed from pain...
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Scorpion67
Drunken Master
Drunken Master
Scorpion67


Posts : 1948
Join date : 2010-05-23
Age : 38
Location : Montreal, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptyMon Jul 05, 2010 9:31 am

wow thats a really interesting story i hopw you will continue it this week man Wink
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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptyMon Jul 05, 2010 11:57 am

yea nice story i wnna read chap 2
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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptyMon Jul 05, 2010 6:57 pm

cool i loved it look forward for your next part Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptyMon Jul 05, 2010 11:48 pm

Hehe, Nice Story Man, keep up your work!
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TheRuler

TheRuler


Posts : 2038
Join date : 2010-05-22
Age : 28
Location : Finland

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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptyTue Jul 06, 2010 1:54 am

Chapter 2 - The Mission

A big smoke cloud was rising to the air, a man stood in the fire smiling with an evil look in his face.
Tim was lying in the ground, he was whining in pain. Behind the man, a large Light And Darkness Dragon vanished. The man walked away....

Meanwhile, not so far away......

A giant explosion hit the Conspiracy room.. Everything flew up, and I was trying my hardest to hold on to something... It was really hard and I saw other members fly from the power of the explosion. I saw Murlock and Kaibaman, Kaibaman was walkng out, with style Wink Murlock had been caught, and he waws being carried outside..

Celestine woke up... She saw a female "thing" in front of her face. It was Mystical Elf.
"Finally you woke up" The elf said and smiled. =D <--- Like that.
"W-where am I?"
"You're in the Secret Village of the spellcasters =D, you just popped out of the sky, we have no idea why or how"
"Secret huh? Then why did you tell me?.. But I think I do know how I got here, but I also think it's not so good thing that I am here"

Then Murlock and Tim dropped from the skies...

Sorry guys, I do kinda short chapters, but that way, the tension keeps up Wink
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Scorpion67
Drunken Master
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Scorpion67


Posts : 1948
Join date : 2010-05-23
Age : 38
Location : Montreal, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptyTue Jul 06, 2010 3:47 am

WTF why you cut like that :Ø i hope next one wil be longer, i need to know whats in that secret village of the spellcaster :O
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Harper7000
Chaosking
Chaosking
Harper7000


Posts : 2580
Join date : 2010-05-27

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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptyTue Jul 06, 2010 6:03 pm

Idk why I ony just now found this story... xD. Pretty good, I like the tension, but if I can make a suggestion, make it a little less fast paced an a little more plot. I have a hard time following the characters, who's good and who's bad, and what's happening some of the time. Keep it up though, your writing style is unique and that's cool Wink Wink
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Scorpion67
Drunken Master
Drunken Master
Scorpion67


Posts : 1948
Join date : 2010-05-23
Age : 38
Location : Montreal, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptySun Aug 08, 2010 3:13 am

what hapens to your story Ruler :S
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Harper7000
Chaosking
Chaosking
Harper7000


Posts : 2580
Join date : 2010-05-27

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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptySun Nov 21, 2010 11:52 am

Yeah man, I want to see more fast-pace action! Very Happy
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TheRuler

TheRuler


Posts : 2038
Join date : 2010-05-22
Age : 28
Location : Finland

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PostSubject: Re: Banned Dueling   Banned Dueling EmptySat Jun 18, 2011 12:37 am

I think I'll do a new fan fic later, so this can be closed xD can't get anything on my mind to this Smile
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